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The first-time family carer's guide
Reviewed by Sharon Coyle

The first-time family carer's guide

Becoming a full-time carer for a loved one can be as difficult as coming to terms with them needing a carer in the first place. It may seem daunting but if you’ve been looking after a family member, you may already have been a carer for longer than you realise.

Whether you’ve become a carer due to the deteriorating health of a loved one, an accident, a disability or having a child with additional needs, it can be intimidating and challenging. But it doesn’t have to be; you’re not alone.

Read our guide below, where we break down the full process of becoming a carer and where you can get additional aid and support should you need it.

First steps to becoming a carer

When becoming a carer for your loved one, the first step you should take is booking a carer’s assessment with your local council (this is known as an Adult Carer's Support Plan in Scotland). During your Care Needs Assessment, you’ll be able to determine the level of care your loved one needs, you can ask questions about becoming a carer if you have any, and they’ll be able to assess any kind of funding or additional support you may be eligible for.

After the assessment, a personal care plan will be made by the person in charge of your and your family member’s care. This is essentially a plan of action detailing the level of care needed, how much support is required and what the local council can do to help meet your families needs.

As you wait to receive a copy of your care plan, it’s a good idea to create a personal plan with your loved one to see what works for you. This is the time for you to figure out whether you can commit to being a full-time carer or if you need additional support from home care services, whether your family member will need any home adaptations and more.

How to approach caring for your loved one

Not much can prepare you for the joys and challenges of becoming a full-time carer for a family member. While it can be rewarding to spend time with and take care of someone you love, there are many instances that can make it awkward or even embarrassing sometimes.

For example, taking care of your parents’ bathing or toileting tasks can often feel unsettling due to the caring role reversal. Our range of bathroom aids can make the process slightly easier, and we’ve put together some suggestions to help you out.

Work out who should do what

If your loved one needs help bathing, you should have a conversation beforehand to agree on what they need help with and what they’re comfortable with you doing. Make sure to stock up on washing and hygiene aids to make the process smoother for both of you.

Organise before you start

When it’s time to help with bathing, make sure you have ample stock of all your necessities, like towels, shampoo, and body wash. Nothing makes a situation more stressful than realising you’re missing important things, so be prepared. Also, make sure the toilet is stocked with toilet paper and that the route to it is clear to avoid any accidents. For additional precaution, take a look at our incontinence aids. 

Start from the top

Many people start from the top and move down when washing. If your loved one has difficulty bending or stretching, they may be able to wash the upper half of their body while you wash the lower half. This will make the task quicker and help alleviate some potential awkwardness as you’ll both be occupied. Make the process easier with the help of our sponges and washing aids. 

Distraction is your friend

The first few times will likely be awkward as you both adjust to your new normal, so try not to bring any more attention to it. Talk about something else that can help the situation feel more relaxed. Once you’re both more comfortable, you may not need to try and distract from it as much.

Remember the little things

Little touches can help your family members feel more presentable and like themselves. Take the time to do their hair, put on their makeup, and help them shave or brush their teeth if they struggle to do it themselves.

Use these tips to create a caring routine that you’re both comfortable with.

Register as a carer with your GP and local hospital

Now that you’ve received your care plan from the council and created one with your family member, it’s essential that you register as their carer with your GP.

Even if you have different GPs, register at both so you’re on each other’s records. This will allow you to discuss medical requirements, book appointments with the doctor, and set up repeat prescriptions.

Informing the hospital of the correct contact person is important should hospital care be needed.

Where to look for support

Whatever you do, remember that you’re not alone! There is an abundance of information and support online for carers. Whether you want to talk to a professional on the phone, chat with someone in a similar situation, need financial aid or just want more information about caring for a loved one, there are many sites dedicated to helping you.

1.7 million people in the UK are providing 50 or more hours of care per week.

— https://www.carersuk.org/policy-and-research/key-facts-and-figures/

Online communities

Becoming a full-time carer for a family member can be a rewarding experience, but it’s not without its challenges. 

Here are some of the difficulties faced by family carers:

  • The struggle of looking after themselves while looking after someone else
  • Feeling isolated and lacking social interaction with friends and the people around them
  • Learning to accept help and seek support when they need it
  • Finding it difficult to see themselves as carers, as they see it as part of taking care of someone they love
  • Feeling guilty for struggling or getting frustrated at the one they’re caring for
  • Struggling to find the proper support, as other friends and family may not know what to say or how to help

There are online safe space communities where carers can share what they’re going through and offer advice to other carers in similar situations. Looking into these online spaces could give you insight into some of the things you can expect to deal with in your daily life.

1 in 6 of all UK adults – equivalent to 8.9 million people – provided unpaid care in the period 2023–25

— https://www.health.org.uk/reports-and-analysis/analysis/unpaid-care-the-realities-of-caring-in-the-uk

Carers UK

A great place to start is Carers UK, the main membership charity for carers in the UK. They offer expert information, advice, and support for unpaid carers and have an online forum where carers can speak to each other for help and assistance.

Carers Trust

Carers Trust works to improve support, services, and recognition for anyone living with the challenges of caring (unpaid) for a family member or friend who is ill, frail, disabled, or has mental health or addiction problems.

They have a range of resources to help unpaid carers and the people they care for, including links to available local services and a list of online forums and communities for carers.

Alzheimer's Society

Alzheimer’s Society supports those affected by dementia and has plenty of guides on how to care for someone with it,  including the legal aspects of care. Looking after someone with a memory condition can be incredibly rewarding while also being one of the biggest challenges of your life. They also have an online community where you can connect with others going through similar experiences.

"One of the huge benefits that the Alzheimer’s Society provide is literally, that we’re open for everyone. We’re here just as much for the carers, the family, the loved ones as much as we are for the person with the diagnosis."

— Darren, Dementia Support Worker for Alzheimer’s Society

Scope

Scope supports people with additional needs of all ages and their families. They have a wealth of information and advice available, including a dedicated section for families with disabled children, which offers guidance on the journey to a diagnosis, how to get educational support, and where to find emotional support if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

The Children's Society

The Children’s Society have a “Include” service designed to support young carers across the UK who care for parents, siblings or others living with a chronic illness or disability. You can use the interactive map on their website to find young carer’s projects available in your local area or explore there’s also guidance available on education, finances, mental health advice and more.

Alzheimer's Society

Alzheimer’s Society supports those affected by dementia and has plenty of guides on how to care for someone with it,  including the legal aspects of care. Looking after someone with a memory condition can be incredibly rewarding while also being one of the biggest challenges of your life. They also have an online community where you can connect with others going through similar experiences.

Complete Care Shop cares

At Complete Care Shop, we care about making life easier for you and your loved one and enabling their independence. If you’re thinking of becoming a full-time carer for a family member, we have a wealth of resources for you. Browse our help and advice section for guides on our products and being a carer. 

For additional information, please don't hesitate to contact us.